Heartaches

It has been hard lately, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. My little girls have been sick with a virus the past few days and have started acting out, (their little world has drastically changed the past few weeks) and that has greatly reduced our fun outings lately. Thankfully Philip has taken her some places. Santa has also realized that we can not be her parents. We met with some other host parents the other day; the mom is from Ukraine and speaks Russian. We were able to talk about things with her that we would have no possible way doing by ourselves. This mom, being from the same program and knowing what to say and what not to say, was able to explain a lot of things to her. We kind of figured that she was wanting us to have her, but it is so hard to explain things to someone who doesn't speak English. (She has definitely learned a lot though, she can now understand simple phrases and respond back.) She now understands that we are too young to adopt her. (Both parents have to be 18 years older) She was very disappointed. It is very hard to know what any of the children are thinking thinking if you don't speak their language. Some children come on the program with no thoughts of adoption, they just think this is a vacation. It is presented to them that way because legally New Horizons for Children is just a hosting program. But sometimes, there are children that have seen other kids from their orphanage go on the program and then eventually have a family adopt them. I wasn't sure at first what her expectations were because she has mentioned her mom a few times and that she sees her occasionally. But we now know that it was a situation of neglect and she has been at the orphanage since she was 8. She told us that her mom was not a good mother and that she drank too much. She really doesn't want to go back to the orphanage. She wants to live in America.

After knowing more details of her past and neglect, (some details I haven't mentioned here because I think she doesn't want the past to define her), I am struggling with how to mentally deal with that info. Feelings of anger, judgement, compassion, understanding, feeling helpless to "fix" the problem and many more thoughts have gone through my mind lately. Mentally and emotionally exhausted describes how I feel lately. I have really had to rely on God these past few days. I know that He wanted us to host her this summer and advocate for her. I have to leave the rest up to Him. He loves her more than we ever could and has her future in His hands. But letting go will still be hard.

So we have been dealing with a broad spectrum of behavior from her lately, from her bursting into tears at something seemingly small to acting like she is excited to go back and show off all of her "things" to her friends. The desire for things has kicked in this week. I know that part of it is survival mode. She knows that no one will get it for her over there. She knows we care for her and asks us to buy her things. She is stocking up. I try to look at it from her perspective, but sometimes it is hard when she is always asking. I know she is trying to set herself up the best she can, and she is trying to go back and look good to the other kids in school. She has shared that there are some kids at her school that tease her. It is practically impossible to explain to her that one's self worth isn't based in the value of their things or their value in others eyes. These are life lessons that no one has taught her. Needless to say, we've avoided stores lately, it makes it easier. It is a hard balancing act when you want to show her that you care, but you can't buy her everything she wishes. She's pretty good when we say no, she doesn't push. She understands about price and if we say that something is too expensive. But, that doesn't stop her from asking for the next thing that catches her eye. She needs a family to teach her about love. A family that will show her love isn't just about buying things for a person, but that love is soooo much more. I don't think she can fathom that kind of deep love yet, she doesn't have that background or basis. But, I know she can learn. She understands that we still love her even if we don't buy her something. I don't see this as a big problem, she just needs a mom to walk her through it, to see love like that, and to experience it. She is a wonderful girl and would blossom in a family.

I know that she is very sad. She told us that she cries sometimes at night when she goes to bed. (My heart is so heavy) But, mostly she is her usual bouncy self during the day. I think she is a pro at compartmentalizing and just "putting the hurt on a shelf." She'd rather laugh than cry. I wish I could communicate with her better and help her learn and understand so many things. I've had to deal with the frustration that I can't teach her everything in just 5 weeks. But, I do know that she now knows the love of a family. She knows that there are moms out there that do care. She knows from experience that if mom gets upset I don't go out and get drunk. She knows that if Philip and I have a disagreement, he doesn't just leave and not come back. She knows the attention of grandparents. She has seen and experienced the model of a Christian family. And hopefully, she knows that God loves her. (We have been highlighting many passages in her Bible.) I know that this is invaluable to her. I pray that it is life changing.

So the exhaustion has set in. (I'm being honest here) I struggle with feelings of looking forward to Sunday when she goes back, because I don't think I can handle the emotional roller coaster anymore. (But it's like that with all teenagers! lol) And then I feel EXTREMELY guilty for feeling that way. I do love her and want to protect her from the hardships she experiences. And most of the time I feel like, how can I just let her get on the plane and go back to that situation? The round and round of emotions is exhausting. My friend Kimberly, who is hosting as well, shared this verse. Galatians 6: 9,10 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..."

(I know that some families have shown interest in her, but so far nothing has really come of it. I am really thankful though that these families have expressed an interest. I just have to trust that God will do all the rest in His timing.) We will just have to pray that one of them will host her during the next hosting season at Christmas. She wants to hear us tell her "I love you" all the time right now. She tells us and the girls all the time. We are trying to build her up as much as we can during the past few days. We are telling her that we will continue to keep in touch through email. I look forward to the opportunity they have given us to be able to send her a care package at the end of August when NHFC goes back to conduct more interviews for the next season. We ask for your prayers, we know Sat and Sun will be difficult.

Sorry this has been pretty wordy this time, (and I know there are a bunch of grammar mistakes, forgive me.) but I had a lot to get off my chest. We did have a lot fun the other day taking her to the Yellow River Game Ranch. She loved being able to pet the deer and all kinds of other animals. We went with my sister and a friend. It was a fun group with a bunch of little kids and one big kid! She also wanted to sit on the front row of church on Sunday! She told us she likes church and would miss it. We have taken her swimming as much as we can and expect much more in the next 2 days. It's her favorite thing to do. We have also had fun packing her suitcase full of things to take back to all of the kids at her orphanage. I wish there was a big enough suitcase so I could make sure they all have winter coats. Her suitcase is already becoming stuffed with candy, pens, pencils, hair clips, barrettes, bookmarks, and stickers. It makes me smile to think of them enjoying these little presents. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. =)

The beginning of the end already?

Yesterday Santa said that she only had 11 more days with us. She was a little sad while she sat there looking at the calendar. I gave her a big hug. I didn't know what else to say other than, "Yes, I know." She knows that we will miss her. It is so hard to know that her time in America is coming to an end. We are hearing from others who are hosting that the other kids are starting to deal with this as well. I'm sure the difference from being with a family and then going back to the orphanage is going to be very shocking to Santa's system and will be a difficult adjustment. I want, so badly, to tell her that I'm doing everything I can to get her story out there in hopes of finding her a forever family. But I can't, it's against the rules. It would falsely raise her hopes and cause her more pain in the long run if things don't work out. We are doing all that we can and leaving the rest in God's hands. So, we are beginning to look for a suitcase for her to take back all of her clothes and supplies. And true to Santa's usual happy-go-lucky-way, in the span of a few minutes she was excitedly asking about what kind of souvenirs she could take back to her friends at the orphanage.

Last Thursday Santa really wanted to go ice skating. We took her to one of the ice skating rinks in Atlanta. (There aren't many.) Anyways, She loved it! And I did too! It really was something to walk in out of the southern July heat into an ice rink where you needed a jacket and gloves. It was very refreshing. It's been months since the last time I was chilly. Santa can skate pretty well. And I did pretty good for a southern girl who has never seen more than a couple of inches of snow and never seen a body of water frozen solid. (Except for the one experience in ice skating I had before when I was younger.) I only fell once. =)

An then the next morning we did the complete opposite. We went to a water park! Santa was in hog heaven! This was her dream! She loved every minute of it! We barely sat down the whole day. We went on as many rides as we could in that span of 6 or 7 hours. She even dragged me on a couple that I didn't really have any desire to go on! I mean really, why do people think going down a slide that is practically a free fall something they consider fun! LOL But I did it! And she laughed at my screams. =) Hannah had a blast too. She was big enough to go on a few rides as well. No fear! (We left Kayla with Philip's mom. I'm glad because we wouldn't have been able to do as much if she had come along.)

So the next day Philip and I were pretty sore. We had just been ice skating and then spent all day at a water park. We also were starting to get colds, because of the extreme differences in climate in just a couple of hours and all the physical exertion. We were exhausted, so I'm glad she found one of my aerobic DVDs. (Which I need to be doing on a regular basis, but oh well, sorry, I've been busy.) ;) So there she was bouncing around our den doing the work out video. Oh to be a teenager again with endless energy.

This Sunday we tried something new. Philip's Aunt belongs to a church that shares their property with a Russian congregation that holds their services in Russian. So we went that afternoon. I think Santa really enjoyed it! She seemed happy to listen. I'm glad she could understand the music and message. (I now know what it feels like to sit in a service and not know what is being said.) But, it was great to sit there and observe these brothers and sisters in Christ lifting up His name! I participated as best I could. We did know the text because they put the verses up on the screen in Russian and English. And even though I barely understood a word, it was truly a huge blessing to me. How can you not be blessed when you see the people of God proclaiming His name and His Word! (At one point, when the pastor lifted up the Word and greatly emphasized something that he had just read, I wanted to shout "Amen, preach it! I don't know what you just said, but Amen!" But I refrained.) =) This was truly a sweet congregation of brothers and sisters in Christ. They welcomed us warmly and eagerly spoke to Santa asking her lots of questions. We may even go to a pool party later with a group of teen girls from that church. I pray that God spoke to her through something she heard. I do know this though, God's Word does not return back to Him void or empty and will accomplish what He desires. (Isaiah 55:11)

Today Philip took Santa to work with him. I'm sure she will love seeing what he does at our church and also like meeting a bunch of new people. She really is a social butterfly and thrives on developing relationships. We look forward to these last 10 days of her visit. We still have more fun outings planned for her as well. Please pray for her, I'm sure the closer the time comes for her to go back to Latvia the harder it will be for her. We are earnestly praying that God will provide for her a forever family. We are doing all we can to advocate for her and for all of the children who haven't found their families yet and are "available" this summer on the hosting program. (Note: Available is a tentative word. New Horizons for Children is not an adoption agency, but can direct people in the right direction, and can advocate for these children while they are hosted in America. There are about 40 of them) Take the time to read their bios and pray over them. Pray that God will use all of us to lead them to their forever families in His perfect will. Share this link with any one who is interested in the lives of these special orphans! (I'm having trouble getting it to be an active link, so copy and paste it in you browser bar.)

http://picasaweb.google.com/nhfcteam/Summer2010RemainingChildren?authkey=Gv1sRgCJ3noNLFwJPNdw#

The theme this week seems to be "Beauty week!"

I just finished having a manicure done by Santa. We pulled out all of my nail polish, plus some that she has received from a couple of people who wanted to give her a little welcome present. All of us girls were in Santa's room looking at nail polish and trying to decide what to do with our nails. I told her to do whatever she wanted to mine. She is very creative! Currently my nails are hot pink and sporting blue polka dots!!!! LOL!

We are having a blast with Santa. She likes to be very active and usually asks me what's the plan for each day. Whew! I know she wants to enjoy every minute of her stay in America. But, we've had to explain that there needs to be some "down" or quiet time each day. And that we still live in this house and I need to do housework and such. She understands and has even helped me out with dishes and has taken out the trash a couple of times too! I try to keep our calendar full because I know her time with us is limited.

Monday we took her to the salon. My sister is a stylist and offered to do her hair. Santa loved having her hair washed, cut, and styled. She didn't want much done to her hair, just a trim. But, it was a big deal to her. We found out that she loves having her hair touched and brushed. I've tried to do that for her a few times since then. Because, who knows how often she has had that simple loving touch. Probably not very much at all. It made me think about how many of us probably take for granted that we had a mother to brush our hair when we were little.

During week two we also were prepared for her to test her boundaries. We were told to expect it probably the second week. It's only natural for children to learn their boundaries. She tested us a little last week, but it really wasn't that bad. I mean she had to know if we mean what we say, if no means no, and do we stand our ground if she pushes. It's very normal for all children to do this. Good grief, my own children who know me do this from time to time and drive me nuts! (And they know that if they whine and cry or beg me for something, that's it, you just sealed you fate, it's definitely NO now.) LOL! So a little bit of pouting and begging when it was time for bed didn't phase me at all. She saw that I was not a push over and that was that. I'm happy that it really wasn't that bad. She's a good girl.

We also hosted one of the Russian chaperones, Elena, last Friday The chaperones are the adults who travel with the children and stay here in America during the 5 weeks. The children need to check in with their chaperones periodically while they are here. And if possible spend a day with them as well. Santa's Latvian chaperone is too far away so we spent the day with Elena. We took them bowling. Santa had a blast! There was some strong competition going on there between all of us, LOL! We had so much fun. We all really enjoyed it! We went swimming afterwards too. We still go swimming just about every other day. She can't get enough of it! She just lights up when she is around a pool or is swimming.

This Sunday we had a little sad time with Santa. During the last worship song before the message, she started to cry. I was really shocked because it was so unlike her. I just held her while she cried. I started crying because I could feel her sadness but didn't know what was wrong. I knew it would be very hard for her to communicate was bothering her. So, I just sat there, held her, stroked her hair and prayed over her. I'm glad I could comfort her even if I didn't understand what was wrong. It was just a little time of sadness and she was bouncing around not long after that. Philip almost didn't believe me when I told him because he was in the sound booth during the service, and afterwards she acted just fine. Later I tried to ask her what was wrong and she just nodded and said that she was okay. I asked my friend Inga, who is fluent in Russian to come over so we could know what had made her cry. She was a little shy about telling us, but she said she was thinking about all of us and about how much she would miss us when she goes back to Latvia. Oh, Lord help us. This child is precious. I so desire for her to have a family she can call her own. It's going to very hard to let her go. But we knew that going in to this. God's plan for us is to have her for just a little while, but hopefully we can be a stepping stool to her forever family.

We are looking forward to the rest of our time with Santa. I can't believe that we are already halfway through! I'm so happy we had Inga come over the other day. After she has translated we know we understand each other better. She just glows afterward! There are no misunderstandings and we know we're "on the same page." (Which makes me laugh, because we found out that the books in her Russian Bible aren't in the same order as ours. We counted the books and chapters. And found where we wanted her to read. We thought we had highlighted some verses in Psalms for her, but it turned out we highlighted something in Isaiah!) LOL Anyways, Inga helped us understand that and more. We also asked her what she really wanted to do while she was here. And if possible we would try to make it happen. She said if she could do anything at all it would be to go to an American water park! So, I knocked off a couple of things that were on the schedule. We will try to go this week or next. I can't wait to see how happy she will be experiencing that! Keep praying for her and for her future. And check back again to see what we've been up to!

Busy, busy, busy!

Our days have been packed full lately! It has been so much fun watching her enjoy herself, especially with swimming. She loves to swim! I'm so thankful Philip's parents and my parents both have a pool. It was so neat to watch her eyes light up when she saw the pool in Philip's parent's backyard. She was amazed! She kind of had to sit down for a minute. And she kept saying "Wow!" while shaking her head. It really does make you appreciate the blessings God has given you even more when you see it through another's eyes. She wants to swim all the time. And Philip taught her to say, "Lets go swimming!" We hear that many times throughout a day! LOL

We also had a great time at church on the 4th of July. She really enjoyed all of the patriotic music! We, of course, went swimming later. She had lots of fun goofing around in the pool with everyone. She is definitely silly and likes to cut up! She pretty much stayed in the pool all day. And of course my "mother hen" instincts kicked in. I was worried about her getting sunburned, her skin is so fair compared to us. I'm sure I was pestering her by following her around spraying her with sunscreen a couple of times! But she tolerated it well. LOL! Later we had to almost drag her out of the pool promising that we would go see fireworks! We were all very tired and water logged, but we managed to "ooh and ahh" while we watched. She really enjoyed it. It was a wonderful holiday.

Monday she had a dentist appointment. She seemed impressed with all of the technology. She did very well during the cleaning. And she was happy when they told her she was a good brusher! Unfortunately she needs some work done. We had our first of four visits today. She has a couple of small cavities that the dentist wanted to fix before they became a problem. And he wanted to redo all of her past fillings as well. The quality of dentistry in these countries is usually not state of the art, and it was obvious in her work. He wanted her to have fillings that would last forever and wouldn't give her problems later. He really wanted to make sure that everything was done correctly. Dr. Pafford is such a wonderful dentist and I'm so thankful that he is donating his time and services. Santa on the other hand wasn't thrilled with everything. Well, who does like to have work done on their teeth? No one! She did well though considering she was probably scared out of her mind. I think it really stressed her out because she didn't want to go swimming this afternoon and wanted to take a nap. Of course her teeth were sore. After her nap though, she was back to her perky self.

I was also able to take Santa and meet with friends at a coffee shop the other night. One of them is fluent in Russian. And it was great to have someone translate so we could actually have a conversation. I learned more about her likes and dislikes (there aren't many dislikes). And she opened up and shared about her usual daily routine at the orphanage and school. She shared that her "group," which consists of 6 girls, helps cook and prepare meals in the kitchen every Wednesday night at the orphanage. They all rotate and help out in different areas on different nights. It was very interesting to learn more about her. We had a great time and I think she was happy to be able to chat away and answer questions while Inga interpreted for us. Santa is happy to be here and is having a great time. I'm happy to know that for sure! Thanks Inga! We'll have to do it again!

We were also pleasantly surprised that when we had our Bible time tonight she said she wanted to pray too! After she prayed, Philip asked her what she prayed about and we figured out that she prayed the Lord's Prayer! We are happy that she seems open to the things of the Lord. And we are continuing to pray for God to show Himself to her in a mighty way. We want her to know that she has a Heavenly Father that loves her very much. We are looking forward to see what God has in store for her.

We'll keep updating and sharing all that is happening with us. Please keep all of us in your prayers! (Hannah and Kayla have had to adjust too! They have another person trying to "mother" them right now too! Which has been a concern of Hannah's a couple of times. But they are handling everything better than I thought. I'm so thankful they seem to be taking it all in very well.) Check back later for more updates!

Having a great time!

For those of you who are just starting to read our blog, I'll share real quickly what we've been up to lately. We are hosting an orphan for 5 weeks this summer. Santa a 14 year old girl and very sweet. New Horizons for Children is the Christian organization that has coordinated everything for us. It's kind of like an exchange student program. NHFC goes to Russia, Latvia, and Ukraine twice a year to interview children in different orphanages and chooses some to participate. The idea is to bring these children over here to America and see how they do in a family setting. Then hopefully while they are here, they will find a forever family. Other goals are for them to improve their English and to generally raise their self esteem. (They were chosen to come to America!) They do have to go back after the 5 weeks. But hopefully during their time in America they will meet that special family that God has for them. There is a website you can visit to learn more info. www.newhorizonsforchildren.org

The past few days with Santa have been great! She is an amazing girl! Very outgoing, giggly and happy! We have been pleasantly surprised with her cheerful attitude. One might think that all the children and teenagers would react that way if they were given the opportunity to visit America, but not all of them easily adjust right away. (It's quite a lot for a child to leave everything they know to live with strangers in a different country who speak a different language.) So far she has been very easy going. She speaks Russian and very little English, so it's been hard to communicate with her, but she doesn't get frustrated. She laughs with us at how funny it can be when we try to act out what we are trying to say. I've never been very good at charades! LOL But we get by! The photo dictionary of American English we bought at Borders has been a lifesaver!

One of the first things she told us (in English) was, "I like to cook." She has baked us muffins, made us a Russian version of salad with cucumbers and tomatoes, and cooked dinner for us last night. She made a huge egg and ham omelette for everyone. It was delicious! I took her grocery shopping with me on Monday. She made a list of produce and ingredients she wanted that we translated. She was very happy to go through the store and pick the produce she wanted. She also has a very healthy appetite! LOL! This girl can eat! In the orphanages the children are given a small plate of food at each meal. They don't get to choose what they want to eat or have any second helpings. She loves being able to choose what she wants to eat and even cook it! (I don't even know how many apples and bananas this girl has eaten in just the few days she has been here, but I can tell you I think she ate 6 apples in one day!) And most of the time she tells us thank you after she eats a meal.

New Horizons for Children had a welcome party for all the host children in the area. She and the girls had a blast playing in the water at the "spray ground" that was rented. It was great to see all these children having a blast in the water! Most of them had never seen anything like it! We took her to the GA Aquarium and she loved it! She really liked the Beluga whales. We had a great time and she was able to see things that I'm sure she would never have had the opportunity to see before. She loved touching the stingrays, sharks, and horse shoe crabs.

We also took her to church on Sunday. We told her the night before and we could tell she didn't really want to go. She didn't have an attitude about it, she just asked us if it was necessary. We told her yes and she said okay. She was very compliant. I know that the average Russian Orthodox church is very different from our Baptist church. So, I imagine that was what she had in mind when we said church. We told her it was a BIG church with many people. She took it all in very well. She liked the music and laughed happily at some of the joyful singing. And then there were a few Baptisms! She looked at me and smiled while she pointed to her clothes. She thought it strange was that they were getting in the water with all those clothes on. She said a cute little "Hmm!" when the first person was baptized. I could see her mind thinking, "Well, okay!" (We will have to find the passage in her Russian Bible about Jesus being baptized and explain why we do that.) I was able to find the beginning of the New Testament in her Bible and pointed for her to read a little while our pastor was preaching. At least I know that she was reading about Jesus. I think our first visit to church went very well. We have had a few family Bible times before we go to bed. We translated a few verses on the computer and highlighted a few passages in her Bible. We pray that the seeds we are planting with her will one day grow into a faith and relationship with Jesus.

We are enjoying our time with her very much. She is definitely a teenager! (And I mean that in the best possible way.) She usually wants to stay up late, but does go to bed when we say it's time without too many "Awws." She likes to look pretty and do her eyeshadow. She also pointed to a magazine in the checkout lane of the grocery store indicating that she liked one of these current teen "heart throbs" that I have no idea about. LOL! She seems like a normal 14 year old girl! Which is great! She loves "mothering" our girls and you can tell she enjoys being a part of a family. She would thrive in a forever family. I know nothing of her past or her situation, but it's obvious she has had a stable background. Obviously there has to be some reason why she is in an orphanage, but she seems to be very resilient to whatever her circumstances have been. New Horizons for Children knows more about each of the children and can get more information from the orphanages. But, they don't freely give out all the background info on a child upfront to host families. We are only hosting her temporarily and they are technically just a hosting program. They are not an adoption agency and can't legally give out all the background info on a child. They will give more info and help guide and direct a family if there is a desire to take further steps. She has been doing great. What a blessing it has been already! We pray that God will use us in His plan for this girl. We know He wanted us to have her this summer. We look forward to doing many more fun things with her for the next few weeks, and sharing more about this great girl with you!

She is Here!

Santa is here! Her flight came in late Friday night. The girls really wanted to come, but it was too late for them. They helped me make a welcome sign for her though. We were so nervous waiting at the airport. We waited for 45 mins and then we moved into position and lined up with our welcome signs. And then waited some more. LOL It was funny because everyone who was waiting on a child said it was long drawn out torture! (It wasn't that bad, but it seemed like every minute was an hour.) And then there they were coming toward us. I was trying to find Santa in the crowd, but I didn't recognize her at first. She looked different that in her picture. I only recognized her when she was rushing at me with her arms wide open. She gave me a HUGE hug! She almost didn't want to let go. I almost cried at that point, but I held it together. (I was shocked that she was so affectionate. They prepared us before hand saying that most of these children are shy and aren't used to affection. And that we would most likely have to teach them how to hug.) And there she was latched on to me with a massive hug! And then she went to Philip as well!!! Another shocker. Most of these girls are timid around men, who knows what they've been through in the past. Most of the "dads" have to earn their trust. But there she was hugging Philip too! You know when you first meet someone face to face, can look into their eyes and get a sense of who they are? Well, right away we could tell she was special.

The past 2 days have been great. She met the girls the next morning and loved them. She wanted to play with them and braid their hair. Hannah and Kayla loved it! She is very affectionate to them, and you can tell that she loves little kids just like her profile bio said. We have gone to the store, visited Philip's parents, played Wii, and gone to church. She is up for anything! Not one bit shy meeting new people or trying new things. She even eats almost everything we offer her to eat! Our food is so different from their food, especially the low quality food they get in the orphanage. We were expecting to have to coax her to try new things. But she is pleasantly shocking us all the time. She is cheerful, outgoing, and very sweet. She is definitely a teenager, and wants to paint her nails, pick out eyeshadow, and doesn't seem interested in cartoons or toys of any kind. (She'd rather play Philip in ping pong and bowling on the Wii. Shhh, don't tell Philip I told you. And even for a beginner, she sometimes beats him! She is a fast learner! LOL) She is great! =)

No issues at all! As far as I can tell, in just the couple of days we have known her, she would thrive in a forever family. It kind of make me feel even stronger for this girl. And I desire for her to have a family she be can be with forever. I have renewed my prayers with fervor for God to provide her a family. PLEASE join with me in prayer for her. If you have never considered adoption before, maybe now is the time to start praying and see if God is calling you in that way. And if you know of anyone interested in adoption please tell them about her. We would if we could! She is just precious!

Our calendar is filling up with all kids of activities! We are planning to go to the GA Aquarium tomorrow. Ww are looking forward to that! Philip has taken two days off of work and that has been great! I will be updating often with all that is going on with us and how Santa is doing. Check back often and see what's going on!

5 days and counting!

Sorry it's been a while since I blogged last. Much has happened since then and everything has been crazy! We spent most of May preparing our house for a Memorial Day party. It is mostly finished, the master bath didn't quite get finished in time, but the rest of the house finally got put together. Hopefully the bathroom will be finished within the next few weeks. A big thank you to my sister who helped me hang pictures and put the finishing touches on our house. (I seem to have been born without that creative feminine gene of decorating.) It feels good to finally be completely moved in and have everything set up the way it should. And what a blessing to be able to host all of our family for Memorial Day! I think at one point, with a couple of friends added in the mix, we had over 60 people at our house! (We have tons of family in the Atlanta area.) Whew, it was great!

We are still in the process of preparing for our summer mission. We raised ALL the needed money for hosting Santa! She will arrive June 25th. Praise God! (I just want to add something at this point. If God has pressed on your heart to do something, but it seems unlikely or even impossible, just take that first step of faith and He will provide all the details. We have no doubt this is God's plan and have seen Him confirm that over and over again.) It's not like we have $2500 at our fingertips, but God provided all of it and more to provide for her while she is here. People that we don't even know donated, and that is all God! I know that many people think we are crazy for choosing to host an orphaned teenage girl who we know nothing about. But in our minds, how could we not? This is God's plan. We know He wants us to have her this summer. Do we expect it to be easy? No. But we are willing to invest our time in this girl. One of my favorite phrases is, "God doesn't just call those who are equipped. He equips those who are willing."

Our training session for hosting was this past Saturday. It was so encouraging to receive practical instruction on how to best love this special girl while she is here. It was very enlightening to hear from a few children who have gone through the program and have since been adopted. They shared about how scared they were at first and how everything was different. But when the families were so nice, and they had so much fun doing things as a family, they opened up and felt very happy. Hearing about how they view things from their perspective was a great eye-opener. Understanding where Santa comes from, and more about her culture and environment, has truly changed us. The helpless situation of these orphans in Russia, Latvia, and Ukraine is heartbreaking. The children told us they are viewed by people in their countries as "trouble" kids and deserving of their situation. Adoption of a child over the age of 9 is almost unheard of, and the orphanages are overflowing. (Our program director shared that when one of the children was chosen to be adopted after participating in this program, it was the first adoption that orphanage had EVER handled.) Once they turn 16 these children are too old for the government system and have to care for themselves. They're just babies themselves, and no one has prepared or taught them how to take care of their own basic needs. That's why 60% of the girls end up in prostitution just to provide for themselves, and 70% of the boys end up in jail for gang related crimes or theft. (They are just trying to survive.) It's a vicious cycle when these teenagers end up pregnant, can't care for their own babies, and then they end up in an orphanage as well. We also learned that the average woman in these countries averages 7 abortions in her lifetime. And with the downward spiraling economies of the countries of these children, their future is truly bleak at best. (Most people don't know how blessed we are in comparison to the situations in other countries.) Once your eyes are opened to the situation of these precious children, you can never go back. My friend, Kimberly, who is hosting an 11 year old boy feels the same way. She said, "When God opens your eyes to something, you can't go back and un-know it."

We also had a great opportunity this past week. We were asked along with our friends to be guests on a local talk show to share about hosting an orphan this summer. What an exciting surprise! The host of the talk show gave us a list of questions ahead of time, but we were still nervous! We really wanted to take this opportunity to raise awareness of this wonderful program. We arrived all fixed up pouring over our list of questions and going over the answers we wanted to say. We watched our friends interview and saw that everything seemed to be really easy. When it was our turn to tape, we sat down and got ready to do the interview. She asked us the first couple of questions and we answered easily. Then she started asking us questions that weren't on the previous list. If any of you know Philip, he is not gifted in the area of public speaking. God has truly gifted him with a behind the scenes talent in audio engineering. He is not an upfront onstage person. I could feel him starting to get the look of a deer in headlights. LOL! Karen-"And Philip, where is the country of Latvia located?" Philip-"Ummm......(long pause, you can start to hear crickets chirping)....um, Europe?" hahaha Thank goodness for editing! I only hope I made sense in some of my answers too and that we didn't sound like dummies, she threw me a couple of times and I found I was starting to talk fast and grapple for answers! We didn't do awful, but it's needless to say will not have future careers in TV. Philip still asks me about one of her questions to him. "What did she ask me, what was the question?" LOL We were definitely out of our comfort zones and were stretched. I hope that through it all God was able to use us to inform and encourage people to be a part of hosting an orphan. Karen asked us to come back on the show at the end of the summer and share about our experience. Philip turned with a shocked look and whispered, "We have to do this again!?" LOL Yes, we'll do it again and what ever else needed if it will help even just one orphan.

We are starting to pray earnestly for Santa. We desire a forever family for her. And are asking God to provide her with a family. Even if we desired, we are not eligible or able to adopt her at this time. One of the reasons is that both parents have to be 18 years older than the child. We knew that from the start. Which I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Then why did you choose her if that is not even possible?" I don't know God's plan. What we do know is that He made it very clear that we are supposed to have her this summer. I know it will be very hard to let her go back. And that is where true faith comes in, knowing that God has a plan for her and to trust Him with her future. We are asking specifically for God to provide her with a forever family. We are asking Him to start working in the hearts of some of His people. Will you please partner with us asking God for a family for Santa? If you are interested, or know of anyone interested in adoption, please let me know so I can arrange a meeting with her. I also ask at this time, PLEASE DO NOT talk about adoption in front of her. She can understand English and we do not want to falsely raise any hopes. Please speak to me privately and I will be happy to share all I know about her and adoption with you. We are clinging to these verses.

John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
Psalm 68:5 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling."
Psalm 68:6 "God sets the lonely in families."

When you step out in faith to follow God's will it might be scary at first and you will be stretched in different areas. But you will start to gain confidence with each step watching Him provide, equip, guide and support you. We don't know God's plan or the future, we only know the next step He has laid out for us. There's enormous peace knowing that He is omniscient and in control. This is what we know and are learning every day. She hasn't even arrived yet and we already feel God changing us through this process.

Ready, Set, Go!

Full steam ahead! That seems to have been the theme for this past week. We have started our fundraising campaign full-force. I have been typing emails, printing flyers, and generally spreading the word about raising the needed funds for our host child this summer. We have to raise $2500 for Santa's travel expenses in a very short period of time. (It's amazing how bold you can be, asking people for money, when it's not for you and for a good cause.) It has been awesome to see people's loving and giving hearts in this process. We raised $1000 in just the first three days in our campaign! WOW! How amazing is that! Tuesday alone we raised $655! One day people!!! The link to our fundraising website is listed below if you still want to donate!

We still have a ways to go in our goal, and we are trusting God to provide the rest. He knows we've given all we can so far. And we know He'll provide in some way. In the meantime, we've started coming up with some new ideas to raise the needed money. We are going to have a garage sale and ask people to donate their unwanted stuff to this cause. All proceeds will go towards Santa's travel expenses. Some people have said they don't really have the money to donate right now, but do have some extra things that we could sell. We'll have it two weeks from now and hopefully we'll have a productive garage sale. So, time for spring cleaning people! Clean out your closets! LOL And see what you can donate! I'll even try to come and pick it up if I can! Let me know if you have anything!

We also received our training manual this week. I'm a bit overwhelmed! There is so much to do and prepare before she comes. It's a little bit of information overload right now. There is so much to think about and consider with these special children. Coming from an orphanage institution, every aspect of a Christian family life will be new to them. There will be many cultural barriers and pre-conceived notions involved as well. Unfortunately many people, from the countries these children come from, have a distrust in Americans that stems from way back to before the fall of Communism and the Cold War. It will be challenging to earn her trust and overcome any untruths people have told her about Americans. Many children warm up quickly and blossom in a family environment. Others might have difficulty. All of the children have been interviewed, but it is impossible to know everything about them and how they will react once thrown into a new situation. So this guide has been given to us to help us in many areas of incorporating a child into family life in America. Encouraging nutritious eating and healthy hygiene habits are needed. They all are only served a small plate of food at each meal. The idea of serving oneself what you'd like and then having seconds are new concepts! Some of these children only have 3 pairs of clothes, and are responsible for washing them in the sinks at their orphanage. So, many of them wear the same clothes for days at a time. Other challenges are parenting someone who is usually left to themselves. There are many do's and don'ts. And all of this to be done with a language barrier! Pretty much they are preparing us for many possibilities, outcomes, and challenges. But they remain optimistic about the children and many do adjust easily. We will also have a full day of training on June 12th. All I can say is I will do my best, and I will be praying for guidance often!

On a happy note! We finally got our wall oven unit this week! YAY! We've had the money set aside and have been waiting on a sale so we could pounce. Wall ovens were 50% of this week at Sears. Living without an oven for two months has been challenging. The girls are thrilled we get to have muffins, banana bread, and such again! AND, Philip and his dad have started work rebuilding our master bath! DOUBLE YAY! It was completely gutted to the studs when we moved in. All of us have been crammed into the little hall bathroom for these two months. We know we really need a master bath especially since we will be adding a fifth person this summer. So, the weeks are marching on bringing us closer to our goals.

The next couple of weeks we will be preparing for the garage sale and trying to raise money any way we can. We will also tackle the list of our "to do's" that need to be done before Santa arrives. I also found out that she won't know she was chosen to come to America until a week before she arrives. And she won't be given the letter we wrote introducing ourselves until she's on the plane. I wish she new now that she was finally chosen. And that people are praying for her and want to meet her. Especially after she has waited for two years. But, I'm sure they have their reasons. It will be so awesome to show her a list of names of all the people who have donated and taken an active part in bringing her here. I'm sure it will be amazing for her to go from having no one; to knowing many many people are now caring about her and praying for her! This will be such an awesome experience for her! How can that not affect someone? We're already praying that she will be open to the Gospel, and the love and encouragement we want to share with her. Even though I'm not sure what to expect, I can't wait!!! =)

This has been in our hearts lately. (John 21:16) Again Jesus said, "Peter, do you truly love me?" Peter answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” Yes Lord, you know that we love you. We want to live our lives for you. We'll feed and take care of one of your lambs.

www.active.com/donate/2010summer/hostingsanta

Meet our host child for the summer, Santa!

We finally finished all the needed paperwork this past Saturday and mailed our hosting application packet on Monday. It is so exciting to know that the welcome letter we wrote will soon reach an orphan girl in Latvia telling her that she has been chosen to come visit us in America! The organization has known her for 2 years, and from what I know, she has never been chosen before. I can only imagine how excited she will be to learn, that after waiting for two years, she will finally get her chance to come to America! Santa just turned 14 an is a 7th grader. We need your help in this journey, your prayers and support are very important to us. It is amazing and overwhelming to think I will temporarily be a mother of three girls this summer! 14, 5, and 2! Whew! Pray for me! LOL We are looking forward to getting to know this girl and having fun with her this summer. Will you please consider helping us raise the money needed to bring her here? Please copy and paste the link below into your browser window, and you can read her profile bio and learn more about her! She is an amazing girl!


www.active.com/donate/2010summer/hostingsanta

The Big News!

Well, we all have been fighting sickness it seems since Easter. Easter morning I got the girls up because Philip always has to be at church early. I got myself ready and got them all dressed up in their Easter dresses and such, drove all the way to church, and as soon as I pulled into a parking space Kayla threw up all over herself! Didn't see that coming. So, I spent my Easter morning in the parking lot of the church cleaning up Kayla. Philip did come out to help me a little, but had to go back inside and run sound. I took her inside to clean her up in the bathroom sink. I'm sure the people in the building thought I was murdering my own child by the way she was screaming! She didn't understand why I was trying to wash her in the sink and was panicking! (By the way, after she was clean she was fine) Oh the joys of parenting.... Anyways, We also went to a family wedding this past weekend. The girls were still sick; Hannah came down with whatever Kayla had too by this time. But we went anyway because the girls were supposed to be flower girls in my cousin's wedding. The whole trip we dealt with two sick girls: high fevers, coughing fits, and other gory details I won't mention. The whole time we considered going home every couple hours. But miraculously, during the most important times, they acted like they felt fine and were able to participate as flower girls. Hannah loved it!!! So, now it seems Philip and I have whatever they had. But we're continuing to plow through and get things done, along with sniffles and coughs. Things do need to get done and they don't wait even if you're sick. Which leads me to what has been going on with our family lately.

Drum roll please....... wait for it......... We are in the process of applying and moving forward to host an orphan from Eastern Europe for 5 weeks this summer! I'll let that sink in....... Yes, this will be like a mission trip for us this summer. Except the mission is coming to us! We are so excited to be working with a Christian organization, New Horizons for Children, that brings orphans from Latvia, Ukraine, and Russia to the USA twice a year to be temporarily hosted with loving families. We are in the process of gathering deposit money, application paperwork, gathering references, background checks, and getting clearances from the Dept. of Family and Child Services. (DFCS) This is an opportunity that we just couldn't pass up. We are so happy and willing to be used by God this summer to help and nurture a child that doesn't even know how a real family operates.

You know as a mom, sometimes I've felt like what can I do that will impact the world? I'm always at home changing diapers, doing the laundry, and feeding everybody. It's not like I can just pack up and leave my babies and go on a mission trip right now in my life. So, this is just right up my alley. They need moms and families to mother, encourage, and minister to these children. The goals of this program are many, but first of all it is to expose these children to the Gospel and the love of Christ. These children also need to see a functioning family. They won't know what that is, coming from an orphanage, unless we model that to them. They also need their English improved. Most jobs in these countries require a person to be fluent in English. Most of the children are taught English from an early age in school. But, they are usually behind. What better way for them to learn than being immersed in a language for 5 weeks? They return back 2-4 semesters ahead of their peers in English. What a confidence boost for an orphan!

I am so blessed with a husband that is willing to go on this journey as a family. You know, I came to him a couple of weeks ago with tears in my eyes saying, "I think this is what we need to do this summer." He was looking at the brochure while I very briefly explained everything. He looked at me after I was done for a moment and without hesitation said, "Okay." And just like that we started on a mission for this summer. Philips feels the same way that I do about the many blessings God has given us. We want to use what He has given us for Him. We have extra space now that we moved to a new house. What better way to show how grateful we are than to share it with someone that has none? And then to be able to share with her about God's love, we are thrilled. We know that through this process everything won't be "sunshine and roses," but we are committed and know that some bumps in the road may be included. (I mean there will be a little bit of language and cultural barriers)

We are moving forward and have chosen a girl from Latvia who is 14. She speaks Russian and some English. Most of these children are malnourished and underprivileged. And they are usually 2 years behind mentally and physically than peers their age. But they are so grateful to have been chosen for this program. This organization meets and interviews many children and their teachers from many different orphanages. They choose certain ones to participate it is a big incentive for them. And the children are filled with hope that they will hopefully one day be chosen to come and visit America.

Please pray for our family as we are trying to get all the needed application money and paper work together by the end of this week. We will be starting our financial campaign soon for the needed funds to get her over here. Much like a normal mission trip. As soon as we know more information and more things are finalized, we will tell you more about her and post a picture! Thank you for your prayers!

Starting a Blog?

Well, I finally decided to start a blog so that people can know what's goin' on with us. (Please excuse all typos and grammar mistakes. I know there will be many. My downfalls are run on sentences and misuse of commas. I need to brush up on my comma rules! Lol) It is the day before Easter and we are excited and happy to be celebrating the Resurrection of our Savior tomorrow! He is RISEN! Philip and I are so thankful and blessed to know Him as the Lord of our lives. We have been blessed with two beautiful girls, Hannah and Kayla, and recently we moved to a new house.

This past year has been very stressful for us. We had to make hard decisions. We put our house up for sale knowing full well that the market was horrible, and we knew that we might not even get what we paid for it 9 years ago. We set about remodeling said house so that it would be competitive on the harsh market. We went through frustrating showings. And after intense negotiations and 4 months on the market, we sold our house! (For a little less than what we paid for it 9 yrs ago. Which means losing some money. That was hard to swallow.) We sold a large sound system that had been Philip's side business. We found a new fixer-upper house, lowballed an offer that was accepted, and set about renovating it immediately after closing. Now that we've been living here for a month and the whirlwind seems to have slowed down; we look back and see God's hand in everything. He led us every step of the way. It's sometimes hard to let go and trust God with everything. It was like, "God, I trust you.... but I can't see where I'm going.... but I trust you....... um, help me trust you." God forgive us for ever doubting your faithfulness for a second.

So, here we are at the beginning of Spring and looking forward to what God has in store for us through the summer. We are so thankful for what God has done in our lives, and truly want to love Him by letting Him use us. "Use us Lord. How can we use what you've blessed us with for you?" Already it seems He is setting in motion a plan for us this summer. And we are excited to be taking some first steps in that direction. We'll let you know more later when we know things for sure!